Journey toward Stillness
Through the late 80’s and early 90’s, I lived in New York City. As an executive in large advertising agencies the pressure weighed heavily on me. Working long hours with tight deadlines was the norm. I would catch the subway before the sun rose and took a company car home long after the sun had set.
I vividly recall trying to see the sun between buildings during my lunch hour but often I was not so lucky. There in that skyscraper forest, I began to lose track of the seasons. Before I knew it I could see my breath in the crisp air having missed a glimpse of a tree blazed in fall colors. During the sweltering heat of a city summer I hadn’t experienced the smell of even one spring blossom.
As my life was racing by like a bullet train I wanted somehow to slow it all down. I experimented with meditation. I bought a book and learned the fundamentals. It was rough going. Exhausted from my work day, I often dozed off. I was trying to find the discipline to be still which seemed impossible in a busy, busy, loud, loud world.
In 1996, I was invited to sit meditation with a Soto Zen Buddhist group in Pittsburgh. On the first morning, a gentle man explained to me the meditation posture. He instructed me to watch my breath and count ‘one’ on the inhalation, ‘one’ on the exhalation, ‘two’ on the breath in, ‘two’ on the breath out. When I arrived at ten I was to return to one.
The bell rang three times marking the beginning of a ½-hour meditation period. In this spacious attic with a dozen or so people, everything was still except my mind. Before I knew it I was counting “17, 18, 19”. That was completely unexpected. I thought the exercise would be easy. But what I discovered was my mind sniffed every flower of every thought.
In the ensuing years I have had the good fortune of being taught by revered Buddhist priests and meditating with hundreds of people. The settings have varied from small monasteries to retreat centers in the mountains. I even did a silent walking meditation on the Appalachian Trail.
I have slowed down. My life is no longer a blur. My practice of meditation continues and the rewards have been numerous. My steadfast practice has brought mental and physical benefits but also spiritual gifts such as increased compassion for myself and others, deep inner peace, spiritual insights, and a stronger faith.
For the last 20+ years I have taught meditation. My youngest student, Eli was a boy 5 years of age. I recall one morning as the sun bleached the floors I check to see if Eli was following me during walking meditation. He was so close to my backside that our shadows merged. He was every bit a teacher to me as I was to him.
If you’re struggling to start and maintain a meditation practice you are not alone. It’s hard work. But know the best way to learn meditation is to meditate. I can’t stress that enough. I recommend that students pick a time of day that will provide consistency. Dedicating a space to mediate is preferable. If you cannot devote a room then find a chair that overlooks a garden, or it can be as simple as putting a few altar elements like incense, a candle and a small vase of fresh flowers on the top of a dresser.
One of the best ways to begin a meditation practice is to find a few friends who want to sit together. It doesn’t have to be every day. Just one day a week can give a practice some support. And then there is finding a dedicated meditation group to join.
These are two Buddhist Directory Websites I highly recommend:
Buddhanet's is the World Buddhist Directory. It offers a comprehensive listing of Buddhist centers and groups worldwide. https://buddhanet.net/
The Buddhist Centre: Lists Triratna Buddhist community centers and activities globally. https://thebuddhistcentre.com/buddhism
My students have been corporate executives, top athletes, adults in weight loss programs, parents, teachers, artists among others. They all have one thing in common; something is beckoning them to be still. To be still with another is one of my greatest callings.